my life

Well, excuse me...

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:26:49 +0200

Can you recognize your own (nasty) habits? And have you ever tried changing them? And even better, have you then noticed that people were really reacting to your change? I have and am still doing this sometimes. It’s good and bizarre to see that this (probably small) change, can effect the way people look at you.

I think the best example I can give is the time I didn't apologize. I promised myself not to say "sorry" or "excuse me". Reason for this is that I was working one day and I noticed that I apologized very often to people in my e-mails. Now I'm thinking back to it, this probably was because I wanted to keep everyone as a friend. My e-mails would mostly end with: "Sorry for the inconvenience and I will make sure it never happens again."

Gibbs from the NCIS series always says: "Sorry is a sign of weakness". And there are people on this world who will make abuse of this. You know what people say about business: "The one with the biggest mouth, is the one that gets what he wants". And saying sorry isn't having a big mouth. For me this was a good enough reason to change this for a couple of months and see what happens.

In the first two weeks nothing happened. But after that first two weeks, people started to notice it. I got blamed less more and their were even some people who said I was unfriendly and harsh. But I didn't change my attitude or any other kind of behavior. So was this change of feeling about me, because I wasn't apologizing anymore. I didn't know till I stopped with my little research. Because I didn't want people to know what I was up to, I couldn't ask while I was testing it. But when I stopped three months after I started, I asked some people. They told me the change of feelings really was because I stopped saying "Sorry". I wasn't taking the blame anymore, which almost automatically suggests that the user who is sending the e-mail did it.

For me it helped a lot, because people aren't walking over me anymore. But I changed more and more after this great research. Maybe that's got something to do with it.

Take a good look at yourself (or ask someone close) and try to find your (social) weakness. Ask yourself why you have this weak spot and what would happen if you change it. Would changing this help you in daily life?

Best of luck,
Quincy

Cleaning your mind

Mon, 5 Oct 2009 23:02:12 +0200

Have you ever experienced complete silence in your head? Nothing else that matters for - maybe just - a moment. Only thing that counts for that moment, is you and the thing you are doing.

For me this thing is driving my car. I love driving my car! And I don’t mean driving from home to work or work to home, but real driving. Looking for those roads that are unique and bring pleasure in what way so ever.

In my neighborhood there’s a road alongside a river called “de Vecht”. It combines beautiful views with exciting corners. Because I like testing my and the car it’s limits, I’m working my ass off steering, braking and keeping the car under control. This is my way to forget everything else in this world. And although it’s just for a couple of minutes, I feel fresh every time I do it.

Do you have something like this? Something which can make you forget everything and everyone for just a moment. A moment of peace... a moment of surrender to that one thing and that one thing only? An experience which can clean your mind.

Best of luck,
Quincy

Less is more

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 02:31:37 +0200

Probably all my friends and family can confirm that I’m a calm and pretty quiet guy. I’m never in a rush and 9 out of 10 times to late for my appointments. Even for business appointments! It took me some time, but most of the people around me can deal with it now ;-) It’s sounds stupid, but this is part of the reason why I’m this calm.

I really love to be among my friends and family and try to see them as much as I can. But another thing I’m also really good in, is going my own way. For example: If I’m tired and going home, it is almost impossible to make me change my mind.

Of course not being in a relationship makes a big difference in situations as described above. I don’t have to take anyone into account, which makes it a lot easier.

Bottom line is that my behavior keeps me relaxed and calm in a way I don’t see that often. Although I’m working about 70 hours a week (I love working), I almost never in stress and always happy with what I’m doing. Therefore I can really suggest this kind of “behavior” (as some people call it) to a lot of people.

Best of luck,
Quincy

Mood changes...

Fri, 2 Oct 2009 11:44:09 +0200

Have you ever noticed how some things can change your mood in a way you probably won’t expect. It took me a while, but I figured out my things that can change my mood big time. So is work one of my major mood factors. If I don’t have anything to do at work and I’m getting bored (which I got pretty quick), I will be down and cranky the rest of the day. Of course work is quite a big thing, because for most people it’s at least half of their daily tasks.

Lucky for me I also know “the little” things in my life which can make my day great. Namely play a game on my PS3, listen to the music I love (live concerts of Coldplay and U2), get in my car and drive some peaceful roads and last but not least, drink and/or eat something with my friends and family.

What can brake or make your day? Think about it and try to keep this in mind when a mood change is taking over your complete day.

Best of luck, Quincy